It is impressive how much content and writing you’ve been managing to do, as this is like a 6–12 hour experience for our route! Be proud of your achievement!
I have played it twice now, but I don’t think I have the energy to play the other paths (At least for a while, I am curious about Gideon) because of how long the game is, with a lot of repetition in the Magic Storyline. I would like to say that from what I can see, you become a much better writer the more you write!
Includes hint of spoilers. I am trying not to give any details or spoilers, but if you want to run blind in the game, do not read below:
Zobbe and Daz thoughts: My first path was Zobbe with Daz. You have a lovely art style, and the tail wag of Zobbe is the best! I do think, though, you can tell this is the earlier writing. I think the characters come across as very real, but I will admit that I struggle to see Zobbe and Daz fit together. The only times they seem comfortable and happy are around eating/food. Outside of that, Daz doesn’t want to be objectified for his body, and Zobbe wants validation. So it feels their conflicts are a bit too strong for them to be soulmates currently, and I hope that when you return to them in the future we will start seeing them able to handle serious talks and subjects without hurting each other. And maybe that Zobbe learns to better handle his anxiety, as it creates a lot of superficial problems that overwhelm him. This is very realistic for someone who suffers anxiety as he does. Good job getting the characters to impact us and make us feel these things!
Ace and Morton thoughts: The second path was Ace and Morton. The writing on this path is much better, as the relationship feels a lot more fitting and real. They have different interests, but they always come across as comfortable and willing to work and figure each other out, and how well they fit together. The problems Ace is having seem realistic, as they are about his own anxious insecurities from his history and who he is (good job with that one btw!). They feel like they like each other and can talk about serious stuff without ending up fighting or hurting each other. The only thing I personally want to see is Ace learning he can stop blaming himself for past relationships. He did not do nearly as much wrong as he keeps saying or letting others think he did. He keeps blaming himself for being "too much." I hope someone tells him and helps him see that he has been with people who were not quite honest with him. Someone from his past who got upset after doing something they talked about? Not Ace’s fault. Ace adapting and trying to do the things Reed kept saying he wanted to do, and Reed’s reaction being to give him the cold shoulder, get upset with him, blame him, and demand an apology for being too pushy? That’s Reed’s problem, not Ace’s. Ace getting obsessive with Reed was just a natural reaction because Reed kept saying "I want to do X," which Ace took as "Got it! I will try and make X happen!" and his reward was "Cold shoulder/Upset Reed." If anything, Reed should apologize to Ace!
So! Good job writing, and I really look forward to continuing Zobbe and Ace’s adventures. :D
I will wait eagerly to check in a future date for new updates!
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Brock is my favourite out of all of them. Now that I’ve made him bigger though…
h o l y s h i i i i i t
Hello! More Damian and Brock will be out in less than a week from now!
Continue the good work, Teh.
It is impressive how much content and writing you’ve been managing to do, as this is like a 6–12 hour experience for our route! Be proud of your achievement!
I have played it twice now, but I don’t think I have the energy to play the other paths (At least for a while, I am curious about Gideon) because of how long the game is, with a lot of repetition in the Magic Storyline. I would like to say that from what I can see, you become a much better writer the more you write!
Includes hint of spoilers. I am trying not to give any details or spoilers, but if you want to run blind in the game, do not read below:
Zobbe and Daz thoughts:
My first path was Zobbe with Daz. You have a lovely art style, and the tail wag of Zobbe is the best! I do think, though, you can tell this is the earlier writing. I think the characters come across as very real, but I will admit that I struggle to see Zobbe and Daz fit together. The only times they seem comfortable and happy are around eating/food.
Outside of that, Daz doesn’t want to be objectified for his body, and Zobbe wants validation. So it feels their conflicts are a bit too strong for them to be soulmates currently, and I hope that when you return to them in the future we will start seeing them able to handle serious talks and subjects without hurting each other. And maybe that Zobbe learns to better handle his anxiety, as it creates a lot of superficial problems that overwhelm him. This is very realistic for someone who suffers anxiety as he does.
Good job getting the characters to impact us and make us feel these things!
Ace and Morton thoughts:
The second path was Ace and Morton. The writing on this path is much better, as the relationship feels a lot more fitting and real. They have different interests, but they always come across as comfortable and willing to work and figure each other out, and how well they fit together.
The problems Ace is having seem realistic, as they are about his own anxious insecurities from his history and who he is (good job with that one btw!). They feel like they like each other and can talk about serious stuff without ending up fighting or hurting each other.
The only thing I personally want to see is Ace learning he can stop blaming himself for past relationships. He did not do nearly as much wrong as he keeps saying or letting others think he did. He keeps blaming himself for being "too much." I hope someone tells him and helps him see that he has been with people who were not quite honest with him.
Someone from his past who got upset after doing something they talked about? Not Ace’s fault.
Ace adapting and trying to do the things Reed kept saying he wanted to do, and Reed’s reaction being to give him the cold shoulder, get upset with him, blame him, and demand an apology for being too pushy? That’s Reed’s problem, not Ace’s.
Ace getting obsessive with Reed was just a natural reaction because Reed kept saying "I want to do X," which Ace took as "Got it! I will try and make X happen!" and his reward was "Cold shoulder/Upset Reed." If anything, Reed should apologize to Ace!
So! Good job writing, and I really look forward to continuing Zobbe and Ace’s adventures. :D
I will wait eagerly to check in a future date for new updates!
Yaaay I love this game OwO